Comment se faire des amis à la fac ou comment booster sa sociabilité ?

L’arrivée à la fac peut s’accompagner d’un profond sentiment de solitude parce qu’on se retrouve éloigné de sa famille et de ses amis. Si pour certains, la période des études rime avec fêtes, soirées, potes ect… pour d’autres cette période peut s’avérer être un vrai calvaire car il peut leur être difficile de se faire des amis, d’autant plus que les étudiants viennent à la fac, prennent leurs cours et s’en vont sans chercher à établir un contact ou nouer des relations.

Or, l’être humain est par essence un être relationnel, il ne saurait se suffire à lui-même dans la mesure où il a besoin d’entrer en relation avec les autres. C’est en ce sens que la vie à la fac peut très vite devenir un calvaire.

J’ai connu ces moments de solitude quand je suis arrivée à la fac. J’avais quitté ma famille, mon pays et mes amis, il me fallait donc me reconstituer un cercle social et je ne savais pas comment m’y prendre. Or, l’être humain est par essence un être relationnel, il ne saurait se suffire à lui-même dans la mesure où il a besoin d’entrer en relation avec les autres. C’est en ce sens que la vie à la fac peut très vite devenir un calvaire si il n’y arrive pas.

Si vous vous retrouvez dans cette situation, je vais vous donner quelques conseils afin de vous aider à sortir de cette impasse. Vous ne perdez rien à les suivre, alors essayez, cela ne vous coûtera rien  😉.

✔ Conseil n° 1 : travaillez votre confiance en vous

On me demande très souvent qu’est-ce que la confiance en soi et comment la travailler si on n’en a pas ? La confiance en soi n’est pas un don du ciel et n’est pas innée. En ces temps où la norme nous dicte d’être extravertis et dynamiques, on associe un peu trop vite le manque de confiance en soi avec la timidité. Or, nul besoin d’être un timide introverti en retrait version carpe planquée sous un cailloux pour manquer d’assurance dans certaines circonstances. Car la confiance en soi, c’est l’idée que nous nous faisons de notre capacité à affronter une situation donnée. Du coup, il est à l’évidence impossible de se sentir sûr(e) de soi en permanence, car nous n’avons pas toutes les compétences nécessaires pour faire face à tout. Cependant, bien se connaître et reconnaître nos capacités permet de se sentir plus serein face aux aléas de la vie. Votre confiance en vous augmentera chaque fois que vous oserez prendre des risques en vous fixant des petits objectifs à atteindre pour commencer. Moi, je sais que ce qui m’a aidée à la travailler pour nouer des contacts avec les autres, c’était de me forcer à saluer la personne à côté de laquelle je prenais place en amphi. C’est de cette façon que j’ai pu nouer des liens timidement.

 ✔ Conseil n°2 : restez ouvert et souriant 

Un proverbe américain dit « un sourire ne coûte rien, mais il crée beaucoup ». En effet, il est plus agréable d’échanger avec quelqu’un qui affiche un sourire en lieu et place de quelqu’un qui tire la tronche ou alors qui affiche un air triste. Le sourire a quelque chose de chaleureux et d’affectueux. Je ne vous demande pas non plus d’en arborer un au risque de vous faire des crampes aux mâchoires, mais lorsque vous avez l’occasion de capter un regard, ou alors de discuter avec un de vos camarades, montrez-lui que cela vous fait plaisir, et souriez-lui pour l’encourager.  Vous verrez que certains vous le rendront naturellement, et tant pis pour celles et ceux qui ne le feront pas. Alors, soyez souriant.

✔ Conseil n°3 : intéressez-vous aux autres

Lorsque vous échangez avec quelqu’un, intéressez-vous vraiment à lui, à qui il est et à ce qu’il fait. Dans une discussion, nous sommes très souvent occupés à ne parler que de nous sans laisser la place à l’autre. Laissez l’autre vous parlez de lui en lui posant des questions. Vous verrez que votre interlocuteur se sentira valorisé. C’est tout naturellement qu’il voudra remettre cela lorsque l’occasion se présentera ou alors qu’il aura envie de vous revoir. On recherche la compagnie des gens agréables. Apprenez à l’être.

 ✔ Conseil n°4 : soyez régulier en amphi en TD et fréquentez autant que se peut la « BU » et la « cafète »

Allez très souvent en cours et en TD car à force, certains visages et certains regards vous deviendront familiers. Et lorsque vous êtes en amphi, n’hésitez pas à vous rapprocher de celles et ceux qui font partie du même groupe de TD que vous même pour échanger des banalités d’usage. C’est ainsi que se tissent les liens.

La « BU » et la « cafète » sont également d’excellent lieu de sociabilisation. Ne vous en privez pas.

 ✔ Conseil n°5 : rendez service aux autres

N’hésitez pas à passer vos cours à celle ou à celui qui vous le demande. Si vous ne souhaitez pas lui remettre vos notes, proposez lui de vous donner son mail si vous prenez les cours sur ordinateur, ou alors proposez-lui de vous retrouver à la photocopieuse pour que vous puissiez faire les photocopies ensemble. L’amitié, c’est aussi servir l’autre.

Pourquoi ne pas faire un tour du côte du bureau des associations, vous trouverez peut-être une qui vous donnera envie de vous engager!!!

✔ Conseil n°6 : sortez, allez en soirée et acceptez les invitations

N’hésitez pas à répondre oui aux invitations ou à aller aux soirées organisées par les étudiants. Vous serez surpris d’y retrouver plusieurs de vos camarades. Vous verrez que dans un univers autre la fac, ils seront plus détendus. Vous pourrez peut-être échanger avec ce mec ou cette nana que vous avez remarqué en amphi si jamais elle ou il y est 😉

✔ Conseil n°7 : soyez vous-même

Ne jouez pas de rôle, n’essayez pas d’être quelqu’un d’autre pour vous faire accepter par les autres. C’est en restant vous-même que vous attirez à vous des gens qui vous ressemblent et avec qui vous nouerez de vraies relations.

Et surtout, soyez patients avant d’avoir de voir les résultats lorsque vous déciderez d’appliquer tous ces conseils. Même si au début vous vous prenez des vents ou des râteaux, ce n’est pas grave. Tirez-en des leçons et ne vous renfermez pas sur vous. Les vents et les râteaux ne vous tueront pas. Bien au contraire, ils vous forgeront un caractère pour la suite et vous apprendront à dompter votre ego, car se prendre des vents ou des râteaux fait partie de la vie. Ne les prenez jamais pour vous, un vent ou un râteau ne parle que de celui qui vous en met un!!!

Et si malgré tout cela vous avez des difficultés, vous savez que je suis là et que vous pouvez m’écrire à coaching@jurischrono.com en toute quiétude, car je vous comprends et je sais ce que vous vivez.

Olivia

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